I want to find out about teetotallers ...

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Now that I've decided to "go teetotal", I thought I must learn more about teetotalism:

• what makes teetotallers choose their lifestyle?,
• what makes teetotallers able to abstain?, and
• what makes teetotallers tick?

Well I think to answer any of those, I need to ask the question "What makes drinkers tick?"

For me as a drinker (i.e. pre-2011) I would use alcohol as a social lubricant, a way to enjoy myself and be on a level with everyone around me who is also drinking. Jokes / moments of hilarity to the tipsy amongst us at parties or in the pub are more often than not 'shared moments' with our sober / teetotal brethren. Sure, the odd party / pub visit I've been to, I've remained sober so that I can drive home. But what am I going to do when this situation arises periodically and I have no choice? Okay, the choice is self-inflicted, but I really want to do this.

Also, the reaction of drinkers to non-drinkers is quite stark. A drinker will often eye a teetotaller at a party suspiciously, and regularly choose to not talk to them stood there with their lemonade, ice and a slice. Do drinkers feel threatened? I always did - sort of - and I think moreover a little bit jealous of a teetotaller's ability to both possess the willpower to abstain from the demon drink and - most importantly - to avoid looking like a complete dick throwing some highly irregular shapes on the dance-floor, tanked up on lager. A late-2010 drinking event in Chester had me throwing HIGHLY irregular shapes on a dance-floor, much to the hilarity of everyone else. Let's see 'em laugh this year :-))

So for me, I think teetotallers like to be in control of themselves, to indulge in 'drunkenfreude', and to be guaranteed a lift home (their own) at night. I think they like to avoid the 'gueule de bois' (wooden mouth), as the French put it, in the mornings, and they like to be reassured that there's less of a chance that their liver will resemble a crumbly yellow mass as cirrhosis sets in and gives them bouts of hepatic encephalopathy.

My other argument is that let's face it, until we were the age of 15 (or between the ages of 10 and 13 on the rough council estate near us) most of us had been teetotal, so why should it be difficult to spend another year bereft of beer?

Biting off more than I can chew ... ?

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I absolutely adore beer and find the process of brewing fascinating. Dark beers, IPAs, stouts, wheat beers, white beers ... you name it, I love it. Unless of course you mention American light beers, because they're like drinking flavoured water …

I'm not a drunk, I hasten to add. I don't drink in the mornings, I don't get the shakes if I go without, but I do adore the flavour, aroma and 'social lubrication' that beer brings. It's been a big part of my life since I was a teenager, and will continue to be.

Of late, however, I've found I do have a love/hate relationship with beer, principally because it takes me what feels like the equivalent of the half-life of plutonium to get over major drinking sessions (the last one, at the beginning of December 2010, took me too long to mention).

In recent months, therefore, I have been considering a number of important questions:

1. could I realistically give up alcohol for a period of time?;
2. could I overcome my own (weak) willpower - the hardest battle?;
3. could I find (legal) alternatives to beer?;
4. could I craft something useful – a realistic goal (or goals) - out of abstaining from beer, such as giving to charity / health benefits / savings, etc.?; and
5. if I give to charity, which charity should benefit?

Besides these questions, I needed compelling reasons for abstention. These are based I have to be honest around fears / my neuroses, and are as follows:

1. the condition of my liver – my father died of cryptogenic (i.e. cause unknown) liver disease in 2008, so it makes me wonder, do I have an inherited liver weakness and do I want to aggravate it if so?;
2. why I consume alcohol in the first place – I rarely get paralytic, but I do use it as a social lubricant, as a combat against stress and to simply relax; question is, are there alternatives?;
3. the cost of alcohol – I spend quite a lot on it, I must've spent £500+ during 2010 alone (and compared to some people, that's not a lot at all);
4. how much I want to carry on drinking beer – in order to abstain, I have to abstain 100%, there can be no half-measures (excuse the deliberate pun);
5. calorie intake – for the amount of exercise I do (clearly not enough) I at best cancel out the alcohol calorie intake; how much better could I feel by continuing / upping exercise and yet stopping alcohol?; and
6. "drunkenfreude" - the sense of needing to enjoy a little joyful observation of drunks in action.

After much deliberation, therefore, I have decided to go for "no beer for one whole year" during 2011. Friends and colleagues I have mooted my idea to have branded me anywhere between "brave" and "tw*t" ... in fact, sat in The Brewery Tap bar at The National Brewery Centre yesterday, supping my beloved Worthington's White Shield, I did begin to seriously doubt myself. Could I do it? Am I just being stupid? Do I crave attention? (don't know where that one came from) ...

If I am to successfully abstain for the whole of 2011, I need goals. I also need structure. The structure will be as follows:

1. January – March: probationary period, settling in, invitation to others to see my progress at this blog before ever having to sponsor me, proof-of-concept, teetotaller acceptance (i.e. can and will I actually do it?);
2. March – June: invitation to others to sponsor me (proof that I can abstain proven by 1) above) + SurveyMonkey tickboxes for sponsors to choose which charity I should give to (I can't decide myself) in a year's time;
3. June – December: establishment of a JustGiving charity page once I know which charity to give to; and
4. January – December: weekly reports on this blog of my thoughts / difficulties / benefits / triumphs, etc.

I just hope I can manage this now ...